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I can’t stop crying…or, why do I have so many emotions????

Updated: Oct 2, 2018

Sunday, September 23, 2018:

Recently, I was told that I am emotional. Well, duh! First, I’m a woman. Second, I’m 40. And, well, I’m a Leo and Leo’s are passionate people, sometimes to a fault. Sometimes I feel emotional around that time of the month. Other times, it feels like the full moon is making me crazy emotional. There appears to be a pattern of my so-called craziness as I look back over the last several months. As most women can attest to, PMS symptoms are easily recognizable and usually occur within a few days at the same time every month. The same seems to be true for the increase of my emotional outbursts. My new theory is that my emotional inconsistency is somehow a reaction to the full moon, like I am having PMS, but it’s not that time of the month.

So, I decided to run my new full moon theory by a close friend of mine. She agreed that the theory might be plausible; in fact, the full moon may cause some craziness, especially if there are other psychological factors at work. Where there may already be an imbalance, the full moon may create an additional effect on tipping more into an unbalanced emotional perspective. However, researchers have yet to come up with a valid study to back up anecdotal evidence to support this theory.

Rachel Feltman and Sarah Kaplan described in their 2016Washington Post article why anecdotes continue to provide us with theories of lunacy during full moons. The authors described the historical context of lunacy. Luna was the ancient goddess of the moon, and ancient philosophers believed that the water in the brain was subject to the same shifting of the waves as a tide reacts to the moon. Hmmmmm. Not true! The authors continued with several scientific reasons why the full moon, or the moon at all, does not, in fact, disrupt the water in the brain, and therefore, does not have an effect on our craziness.

Well, so much for that idea.

At least now I know that the full moon crazy is just a theory. I guess it’s time to dive into other theories. Perhaps, I should explore my sleep patterns. Sleep deprivation can lead to anxiety and other psychological effects. Sleep deprivation can also be the result of lifestyle changes.

I admit that there has been a lot going on in my life over the last several months. I went from two workouts a day for my bikini competition in May, then practically nothing to actually nothing. I was in a car accident at the end of May. I graduated with my bachelor’s degree in June. Then, in July, I got a mean case of poison oak. It took me until almost August to start back on track. The effects of the lifestyle swing in my life could have quite possibly been the reason I haven’t been sleeping well. That leads to more stress and more anxiety and then more emotional swings.

It really is not fair to the people closest around me to have to deal with this emotional roller coaster I am on.

As of this writing, I have stopped crying, but I also know that it might come on at any time if I don’t handle the root of the problem. To solve my sleep problems, I started exercising more, set new goals for my fitness, and started making small changes in my diet again. I am by no means reverting back to the meal plan I was on during bikini prep, but I already feel better. I also starting meditating at night while I lie in bed. This has helped quiet my mind by telling it over and over, “Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think.” I know this may sound weird, but I swear it works. Thank you, Eckhart Tolle for that little bit of wisdom. I highly recommend his works. (Eckhart Tolle has written several great books. I recommend starting with The Power of Now.)

I end by saying that I am a work in progress. I continue to strive to do better, be a better human being, and not allow my emotions to get the best of me. This is not to say that I do not have emotions. I am an emotional being. Emotions are a part of my fiber, and nothing is going to change that no matter what I do. I continue to grow as a person and seek out ways to improve the way I interact with others around me, friends and strangers. I think that we all should give ourselves a break now and then. #WorkinProgress #BeAwesome

Full Harvest Moon Rising


Wednesday, September 26, 2018:

Have you seen the moon tonight? It is still big and gorgeous as it rises over the mountainous horizon. I couldn’t help but notice a beautiful orange glow to it this evening as I took the dogs on our evening walk.

This emotional roller coaster of beauty, anxiety, love, and confusion is shared among many. In the aftermath of my first anxiety-ridden crying attack, I consulted with several people to continue to test my theory. Turns out, many people close to me were experiencing the exact same roller coaster as I am. It felt like they were telling me my own story in their experiences over the last several days. The frustration was palpable.

More research and delving into this particular full moon led me to believe that we are (or at least, I am) affected by the full moon cycle. This full moon, or harvest moon as it is called, brings many emotions and these emotions are amplified by its particular position in the sky in Aries. I am not trying to be an astrologer or astronomer, but there is some truth to this. Anger and frustration are heightened during this full moon, but love is also apparent. The key, I have learned, is to let the little things go in allareas of life – at home, at work, with our kids (or dogs) – by taking steps to mitigate possible blow-ups.

One way to mitigate frustrations is to increase love. This starts with loving ourselves through compassion and self-care. Go get that massage. Practice meditation. Take a yoga class. A deeper love of self leads to stronger self-esteem and courage to overcome obstacles thrown at us. We can self-heal with love and self-care. The people around us who are suffering the full-moon emotional anxiety attacks, too, will appreciate the love overflowing from us to them. And now, everyone is happy.

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